Lots of marriages these days are faced with the critical challenges such as spouses holding an adulterous affair, battling and quarrelling nearly every day, inability to reconcile emotional and mental differences, third party interference in the marriage, a yearn for the return of good old days relationship or even a crave to stop an impending divorce.
I refer to all these as critical challenges because they are capable of jeopardizing our wellbeing if not checked.
If you find yourself in the above states of affairs identified, this piece will be beneficial and valuable to you, regardless how stubborn the opposition, how far your spouse might be from you, how hopeless your state of affairs seem.
Friendship has been noticed to be a tried, true and proven technique that can positively influence your marriage, once employed.
In marriage, friendship is forever. Even if we move out of town or adopt residence abroad, we preserve our friendships. We surely don’t divorce our friends just because of a misinterpretation, so if we addressed our spouse as a dear friend, we likely won’t ever require a divorce lawyer and carry out the separation exercise of divorce.
Have this in mind
Since love is less lasting and friendship more long-lasting, effort must be made to make our spouse not only a lover or partner, but a friend. Friendship is an observable manifestation of emotional maturity. Marriage is a duty larger than life and may be a source of challenges or sound joy. Only if we turn those challenges and joy into building blocks for a lasting friendship may we say that we have taken the firm path to a union made in heaven.
If there is true friendship between husband and wife, the marriage will not end up on the rocks. Rather, it becomes a rock-hard marriage where no person or condition may put it asunder.
Friendship in a union means that the union will be significant with memories of laughter and humour, for we picked those friends who made us laugh the most. Friendship likewise means open and honest communication; a no holds barred type of coupling where our comfort level with our spouse goes beyond a hundred percent, guaranteed that what we state and how we say it won’t be labelled or taken in a damaging light.
The friendship between couples returns wholesome feelings of goodwill and faithfulness. Our spouse – our friend – has our concerns at heart, won’t cheat on us and will be our most steadfast supporter. Friendship likewise makes spouse stronger; this durability of friendship is strengthened by the pleasure of shared history of nostalgia and designs for the future.
Romance is a great thing, and we may utilize heaps of it when our relationships get rough. But some people think that romance may be a roadblock to friendship. How come? Romance blots out the darker side of our being – our concerns, fear, anxieties, and insecurities. Yet, it’s those fears, anxieties, and insecurities that by nature draw us to our friend.
Familiarity due to romance does not spawn contempt. It spawns content. A sense of contentment corresponds with satisfaction, warmth, and firm assurance. Partaking in a life together in love and friendship makes for a book that’s deeper and denser in shared histories, in content.
If you were to ask a content bachelor and a jubilantly married man to each author their stories, you will get a favourable narration from both.
The single individual’s position would, however, be I, me and myself – and perhaps a string of blind dates and Saturday nights alone. But the husband will discuss “us”, of mutual interests – a story decidedly made richer as there are two stories, not one.
Much as it sounds awfully unfashionable, (some people say the modern day marriage is like a contract, which can be terminated as at when due) marriage is a commitment, and people have to make every attempt not to degrade that commitment in any way.
Remaining in married is a lifelong, missionary-like enterprise. It calls for guts. It calls for nerves of steel to make a union work. A sense of humour and a humbler degree of egotism may sustain us in the field of marriage.
The obstructions will be many, and there will be spots where we’ll question our saneness, uncertain if we truly have to hang on.
It will be a massive effort to stay attracted to the same qualities that pulled you to your spouse on the first day you got together. Your spouse is yet the same individual you fell in love with, he or she hasn’t altered his or her soul or being.
Finally, there is just one way to divorce, but a thousand ways to save your union, which route will you choose? Are you going to quit or accept one more hurdle?